I'm slowly coming to realize that tryouts for the school musical are just like tryouts for anything else....the pits. You hear about whatever it is you have to try out for and you think "Hey! That sounds like a lot of fun! I should totally try out for that!" and then you sign up for it. You get all excited because you just know that you're going to make it (I mean, come on, who'd be the idiot that didn't let you in?) and you do everything you possibly can to prepare yourself for it with weeks to spare.
After it's too late to go back, or even glance behind your shoulder at what would surely be the tiniest speck of reality, you realize something - what if that idiot really doesn't let you in? What if you go and you've worked for weeks to hear that you really, truly, undeniably suck? And then you realize that you were just caught up in the magic of the moment and that no matter how incredibly hilarious you would look in that Mrs. Pott's costume, you are not going to get that part? Thoughts like "You are such a moron!" and "What the heck were you thinking?!" and "Is it really too late to look back at that speck?" flash through your head as you realize....there's no hope!
The people around you will try to calm your fears. They'll tell you that that idiot that isn't going to let you in will do what he thinks is best, but that even if you don't make it in, you're really the best, and he'll just be proving his idiocity by not realizing that. It doesn't really help.
Still, there are those faint moments when you're practicing your song or monologue or whatever and you think "Wow, I rock! There's no way I'm not gettin' in!"...sadly, though, they vanish soon. I can only hope that as I'm standing there in the choir room looking at the suddenly ten feet tall, boot-shakinly terrifying judges looking down at me with forced smiles because all they want to do is throw in the towel and go home for the night I will remember what I remember now. It doesn't matter if I make it or not, because I am good, and even if I don't make it into this musical, I still have talent. I was blessed with the ability to sing, and hopefully at least a feeble ability to walk across the stage saying something without falling flat on my face. But no matter what, I have confidence in myself, and that's all that matters. So if I don't happen to make it, I can still look those judges, who will then look only six feet tall, into the eye and smile. Still....tryouts are the pits!!
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4 comments:
You go, girl. At least you get to try out in the choir room. When I was at PHS doing tryouts for the musicals, we had to do it in the AUDITORIUM. Yes, that's what I said. The huge, flippin' AUDITORIUM! I swear they were trying to see which kid they could get to wet their pants when they got on stage in front of all their friends and any onlooker who happened into the room. Best of luck, Leah. You'll do great.
Oh my gosh, Julie, you're my favorite. Hehe! But let me tell you...when I get one of my nervous spells I can almost gaurentee that I'd come pretty dang close to being one of the unlucky people that are forced to bring a change of clothes. Ok, so it's not that bad, but still...I'm way nervous! Wish me luck, cuz I'm DEFINATELY gonna need it!
Good luck! I still have emotional scars from tryouts in high school. I didn't even want to be in a musical. At least not sing in one. But I had to try out to get an A in my class. Ugh.
Thanks, Lorien. The audition went alright, but I just heard from a bunch of people that they've already picked who's going to play who (and tryouts aren't even completely over yet!) so I don't think I got the part I wanted. Hopefully I'll still be in it as an extra or something, though.
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