Pain...it's such a horrible thing! It's like in those bad old horror movies when suddenly there's the EEK!!! EEK!!! EEK!!! sound and there are these stupid people sitting there doing nothing but half covering their faces with their spread out fingers while the camera zooms in and out on their looks of horror as something big and black swoops down on them. I mean, you'd think that they'd have the sense to at least try to run away or something. The worst though, is when they know something is in that big scary house and they go inside anyway! Don't they have at least half of a functional brain? Ok, so that's off the subject. Anyway, I've realized that sometimes the helpless, spreadfingered little saps often don't have much of a choice even though they know of the pain that's coming towards them at a very rapid pace. When I was placed in that situation, that's pretty much how it was with me....only slightly worse, because I thought that the pain wouldn't be all that bad.
I'm probably not making any sense, so let me clarify....braces. When my dentist said the words "Hmmm...maybe we should consider braces for you...." I actually said (as hard as it is to believe) "Yes!". I know. I'm a typical sap. The truth is, though, it had always been a hope - dare I even say a dream - of mine that one day I'd get braces. You know, to straighten out that incredibly annoying gap between my two top front teeth. I also liked the way people talked with braces and retainers....I was so young...so innocent....so unbelievably stupid. Braces as a whole experience weren't actually all that bad. Granted, getting them tightened was the pits, but really...what can you do? And my teeth are now beautifully, stunningly straight and white. Yay, right? WRONG! Because I knew that the braces were going to hurt, but nobody ever said that getting the stupid retainers were going to kill my mouth as much as they are!
I know what you're thinking. I've only had this rare form of torture for a total of about seven hours...give it time and you'll get used to it, right? I think it's a horrible thing that nobody informed me that after the braces the retainers were going to be the pits. So here I am with one retainer permanently (or at least temporarily permanently) stuck inside my mouth with what feels like rubber cement on my bottom teeth. On my top teeth I have what's supposed to look like a watermelon but, thanks to the shape of certain wires, looks like a ladybug that flew into my mouth and got stuck there. My teeth ache, my gums are sore, and the next six months appear (from this particular point in time) like they aren't ever going to end. And then after that six months of non-stop retainer wearing, I have yet another year of only "nighttime" retainer wearing. Gah! I dunno what I did to Dr. Barry, but I'm warning you right now....don't mess with him! He has forms of torture that you wouldn't believe. I'm telling you - BEWARE OF THE PAIN!